It’s typically the second or third question I get asked when someone recognizes that I have a transgender kid.
Honestly, I think it’s an innocent enough question and one that I don’t mind answering because every story is different.
Some transgender children recognize as toddlers that they don’t identify with their assigned sex. This amounts to refusing to wear gender-conforming clothing or avoiding gender-normative activities.
While that is often the case, some don’t realize they are transgender until well into adulthood. (Check out these people who transitioned in their 70s and 80s)
I’ll tell you our story just in case you can relate to it in any way.
First, I mentioned in a previous post that before I heard the ultrasound tech tell me that I was having a girl, I was certain I was carrying a boy. I never told anyone about that until after our son came out to us.
Second, there were a handful of occasions that my infant was dressed in all pink while wrapped in a purple blanket and strangers would tell me how cute my boy was. Might be a stretch as far as a sign, but I’m going to add it in.
Third, he and his sister played “make believe” on a daily basis, and in all their fantasy adventures he was “the boy,” “the knight,” “the king,” etc. Looking back, I can see that in the world he created he identified as male and never the princess who needed to be saved.
Fourth, when my son went through puberty, he did his best to hide his curves that were form-fitting with baggy clothing. He hated bra shopping. And, In addition, he was devastated when he started menstruating and not in a “oh-this-sucks-to-deal-with-on-monthly-basis” but in a soul-crushing blow.
Finally, in his freshman year of high school he asked me if I would buy him a chest binder which I was perfectly content doing. In addition, when he couldn’t find any clothing that he liked in the “girl” section of a department store, I asked him if he wanted to check out the “boy” section and he was giddy with excitement.
So those were my signs. What about you? Did your kiddo have any signs before coming out as transgender?
TransMama 