One of our family’s favorite places to spend an afternoon is the beach. I mean how does it get any better than having your toes in the sand, the smell of saltwater in the air, the stickiness of sunscreen, and the taste of chilled fruit from your cooler.
On one particular outing, my transgender son sits next to me and plays his ukulele which takes the whole beach experience up a notch.
Since coming out to us, he has tossed his bikinis away, opting for swim trunks and t-shirts instead. No longer does he run to the ocean with his bodyboard, but prefers the refuge of our sun tent which prevents glances from other beachgoers.
As he strums and sings, I look around at the other teens on the coast playing beach games with the freedom of being carefree in their youthful bodies. I’m instantly saddened that my son has yet to experience anything like that on these regular trips to the ocean.
And then a thought pops in my head that I just can’t help but say it out loud.
“You know…after you have top surgery, you’re going to be able to go to the beach without a shirt on just like all the other boys.”
And for a moment after I make this statement, I feel shockwaves of happiness and fear wash over me one after the other.
After all, I’ve spent a good amount of time on parenting my “girls” to strike the right balance of having a fun swimsuit without showing an excessive amount of skin. Now one of my children will be out in public without a shirt???
I’ll be honest, it’s an unnerving feeling at first.
But that’s when I turn to look him in the eyes and see that his face is glowing.
“And, that will be the happiest day of my life,” he responds.
I wish I had better words to describe to you the rush of relief you feel as a transgender parent, when your child is confident and unafraid about their future.
I mark this beach memory as the first time I was actually looking forward to my son getting gender affirming surgery.
TransMama 