FAQs

Honestly, I don’t even know what this means. What is transgender?

Sex is assigned at birth, male or female.

Gender expression is how we dress, our hairstyle, our speech and mannerisms.

Transgender is different. It means that in our mind we identify as the opposite sex we were assigned at birth.

Is sexual attraction and gender connected?

Sexual attraction: Who I go to bed with. Gender: Who I wake up as. (amazing summary from a local transgender expert)

Is this a phase?

No. Your child has been thinking about this for a long time. Discussing it with friends and family, and is quite certain by the time they tell you.

Did I do something to cause this?

No. Even the worst situations of childrearing doesn’t affect the reason why your child identifies as another gender.

What if they change their minds?

It’s unlikely. All humans have a moment where they identify or don’t identify with their assigned sex at birth. It would be like a cisgender person asking themselves “what if I change my mind.” If you’ve identified as your sex, it’s unlikely you would later decide to “choose” to be the opposite sex.

My child didn’t tell me until later in life, does that mean it isn’t true?

No. Every transgender experience is different. Some recognize it in their toddler years, others try to hold on until they’re in their 30s (or later). Just because they didn’t say something earlier doesn’t mean it’s any less valid. There are a lot of reasons why a transgender person comes out later in life.

Would my child benefit from therapy?

Yes. Wouldn’t we all! There are counselors and therapists who specialize in these fields. Not many of us know how to handle this transition unless you’ve experienced it yourself. If you don’t know how to help, outsource it! Find someone local who does.